Submission and Surrender, Be Zero
Baba ji asked me once, what do you think prostration is? I replied what we do on the prayer mat, that is prostration. He said no, think and then tell
i started contemplating and asked around but baba ji said ask Allah and then call me when you get the answer. Four days has passed, baba ji wasn't going to talk to me, until or unless i get the answer to it first.
I was sitting in the lounge staring at the door of Khana Kaaba and started saying Oh Allah let me know what the answer is its been 4 days i didn't talk to my baba ji.
then all of a sudden i don't know if i saw it with my open eyes or i fell asleep but i saw a man or a woman in white attire prostrating
And suddenly that person disappears and transforms into a peck of sand. Then another person comes, holds that sand in his fist and throws it in nearby water between the fields
then again fills his fist with sand and throw it on a rose flower, then again fills his fist and throws it on the trash and lastly he picks sand with both his hands and throw it in the air
The sand then disappears, and that prostrating man appears again, i called baba ji in excitement to tell him about this dream
Baba ji asked me now you know what actual prostration means? I said yes. Prostration means your inner submission and devotion to God, making yourself zero.
And till today im still not able to perform that prostration but i pray to Allah to grant me that submission to Him
I asked Dr Javed about this dream, he explained that the rose relates to Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH)'s love
And trash is my own self and throwing the sand in air is the same as well. One time we were all sitting together
Baba ji told me to think that who do i love the most amongst my own siblings and shahid's siblings?
I said i love everyone, baba ji said no listen to your heart then answer . So i started thinking
I thought about my brother haseeb, there was more love and less conflicts then i thought about my sister there were more conflicts
Then i thought about my younger brother, there were more conflicts for him as he left my father alone
Felt the same for one of shahid's sister, for other sister there was love and very less aggression and for his brother, my heart was silent.
For his sister in law, my heart was again neutral then i thought to myself what does this mean, i think i don't love anyone completely
I told baba ji on phone, he said lets talk face to face. He said betay babay keep forgiving everyone, dont go against anyone.
Then i said baba ji i thought I've forgiven everyone but my heart answered me this. That day i prayed alot, asked Allah to fill my heart with love for everyone.
Now with Allah's mercy, the conflicts in my heart are gone. And Baba ji also said its not obligatory for you to meet and greet them all the time, just keep your heart clean for them.
Thats how he used to teach us we have stayed with baba ji for 3 to 4 years and these are some of the experiences i remember
Worshipping while standing on one leg for 3 hours is very easy but loving the humanity unconditionally and with total surrender is very difficult
Baba ji has assigned this work to us now and he always said "no one gets to leave when the lesson has been learned"
Once baba ji has explained that it is "die before dying" , how can i add something to it and shahida baji knows herself too but she was asking me about fourth fist of sand
In my knowledge when she stared at that Khana Kaaba door's picture she went into a ecstatic phase and a vision was shown to her
Baba ji told her briefly that it is surrendering yourself completely and in my knowledge basically we are just a peck of dirt and always running after this dirt
But inside of this dirt(body) there's a soul which
